Technical garbage

 I really don't know how to do tech writing. I always see people post things and i'm like "I would have just written this, plain text, just the details, and left out literally anything that would make people want to pay attention. 

I also come to the problem of topics. Do I want to teach something? Do I want to explain views or methods or techniques? What do I really want? the answer is often I really want nothing. Want to want, at best. 

So today, I'm going to simply rant on something you won't pay attention to anyway. 

I've recently found, as best I can describe it compared to the way others may present it, using nmap is often much faster to do sectionally. So, for my example i'll say i'm and i'm scanning If I start off with a service scan, syn scan, and a udp scan, with every port, I can expect this might be done by lunchtime tomorrow. Even on the same network. Even with -T5 timing settings, which only seems to impact the timing scan anyway if I'm thinking right. Likewise, if I use nmap with the fast port scanning flag, no ping, no name resolution, and only syn scanning, I may get information but it's rarely enough to find anything useful. So to solve this for myself, particularly when doing timed things such as tests or labs or even things like htb if not timed, what I've been doing is separating these out by whats likely to give me results to act on quicker. So if I start with something like nmap -sS -sF, then those results print in seconds, I take those and start one nmap scan to do a service scan on those, and another nmap scan to start a syn scan on all other tcp ports. When the service scan of the found ones completes, I can either start a udp scan on all ports (which will always take forever) or apply what's found so far to finding likely open udp ports. In either case, this is going while the global service scan of the tcp ports completes. If nothing presents any clues, doing -sA or -sX scans seem to be the next likely. It seems pretty rare these days to not find a tcp port using syn scan, but it does happen, and often malware authors may use this to hide a backdoor's responses behind a real service (real service binds port, malware service sniffs and response to alternative sequences). I say often, but I really mean, I do this sometimes when bored, and a couple other groups have done this before. 

Occasionally I use msf for scanning, but honestly I really prefer using the db_nmap for this because I can do the above, and have msf's database to manage it for me. Really that's one of the biggest benefits to msf is the host management. Other people think it's the ease of use, buuuuuut I disagree. 

 Now, I still like to use nmap with the verbosity on, or otherwise catch it on wireshark. I know this is a faaaaairly dated practice that's usually only used for bad tutorials of how tcp handshakes work, but some people record their screen, i record my traffic. Rarely to be saved after the fact of course, but fun for what it is.

I guess I also see hacking a bit differently in general though. Means to an ends, way to make money, etc... just isn't enough for me. I learned to hack because I had to learn in order to get things that everyone else seemed to have. Learned to get online to be able to have what the kids at school have. No money, parents wouldn't pay for it. Scamming aol cd subscriptions wasn't necessarily even the start of it, nor was netzero stopping their free service being the end of it. I'm a truthful person and tend to not enjoy deceiving, yet a pseudo anonymous communication medium allows me to personify how I wish. Socialize how I wish. Yet I still choose to be a loser. imagine that. But this turns problematic. Cops ever ask you if you did something and you say it wasn't you, that's grounds to arrest everyone you know. Always remember that. As well, remember if a cop doesn't like you, they can throw you in a psychward without charge until they deem you fit for society. No real paperwork involved. You just go. The old cliche cops used to share was "shoot first, ask questions later" with a reasoning of "its your word versus a dead man's." Yet people are now in 2020 surprised that cops do this. It's been trained into them for 70+ years. A little behind the times I guess. But then, people don't see society as evil, cops as evil, the system at large as evil the way I do, and those who do don't play footsie with the people with a knife to your kneck. Most of my friends, and one of my teachers in school, have seen me wake up and try to kill whoever was nearest me. This is how I was raised, this is how my life remains. I don't like violence. I've spent much of my life trying to overcome anger and violent intent, with all I've found is that it's implausible to completely overcome for someone like me. I've studied, I've tried to help others, yet I cannot go to school for these things. I can't become a doctor. I'm stupid. I can't pass the basics, but I can retain information about each deviance between versions of the dsm, including sub-revisions. I've been asked if i'm autistic in a professional setting, but psychologists seem to lean more towards anxiety and personality disorders. 

I can't seem to find it in myself to upload any of the scripts I write to github. They seem like they wouldn't help anyone. besides, they're all just one time scripts that solve a problem, run for a while, then i'll move on from it. Never really managing version controls because again, what difference does it make. 

I found some issues in a python thing recently, which they converted from python2 to 3 but left some parts that are not dynamic and are extremely limited breaking the software in several ways. I fixed it on my computer, as a one-time fix. But I don't have it in me to fork it, upload, and request merge. It just doesn't seem reasonable for me to do. It's their thing, not mine. I have no rights to this public piece of software that they are literally asking for people to donate time to help with. 

I own a home now. I am a single father, primary custody (conservatorship), in which the mom is currently not in the state and doesn't often bother to call until something reminds her about her children. I have nice car, one I paid for at a real dealership not one I bought from tweeker that we had to (do something) to be able to get it properly put into my name.

I feel I've exceeded expectations of life by surviving. But since even surviving was against my will, i don't know that it's a success. Perhaps horrible failure that others would seem as right. I spend most my time trying to remember if i took my meds that help me stop feeling like I remember every moment of all my life all the time. Some think memory is a gift, I think it's a curse. Someone I once talked to mentioned their amnesia problems and I'm like, shit i'll trade ya. They said they wish people didn't feel that way, but i'm also like I wish I didn't either. There will never be some magic drug to help me. I cannot get past it, but I can't get over it, but I can't medicate through it.

So I sit there, breaking shit. Studying shit. Unable to provide any benefit to the community either. 

I am meaningless.

For someone who likes writing python, x86 asm, archery, espionage, cryptography, hell I make allusions even found in the references between word choices because it became a hobby of mine to hide my real intended words from people. I've been doing it so long I can't stop won't stop. But no one gets my references. Not even the obvious ones. I don't know if my ego is so broken because I mean nothing to myself, or if it's because I mean something to no one.

I write malware in my spare time. Often shitty code that's just single intention and only used as a secondary infection. I usually wrap this with a modified version of some popular malware that's just deviant enough to evade detections for a few weeks. Which really only takes knowing simple indicators people will find, changing those unique spots, or even where they are in the file. Think like a yara rule, rule says "pandorarat" is in the original name section, change it to 12345678912 or some such garbage. Oh it has the ip in this location and the shitty .net generator for it sets it up in the same spot every time. Weeell, now my python generator for it will write it somewhere else and the instruction will be updated as needed. That's it. That's evading detection. Everyone wants to use these sophisticated crypters and such, but unless it's llvm style, it's not really necessary. Now, for the llvm and other virtualized sort of petridish programing with a sub language, I'd still do the above to the original before crypting. I don't really sell what I write. I don't believe in that. But I do have people who help me have money when needed if I leave these accessible for them. If I lose my job, which i'm sure I will eventually, I guess that counts as a fall back? idk. not enough. would have to get up and hustle and make mad monies the other way around. 

Companies often talk about not letting people have their software as a trial because the trial could be abused and license cracked. But it's those same companies that make software to check in with a certificate and from the same port on the same system using a network socket simply reply, unencrypted, okay.

Malwarebytes keygens can be made using angr, but i still went ahead and paid for it for my kid's computer. Because I'm nice I guess. Really cause I don't really want my child looking at me like a criminal the way we always knew our parents were. Don't want him to know his mom doesn't care, don't want him to think i'm evil, don't want him to know his mom tried to kill me like I knew my mom to my dad. So I paid for something. My child is privileged because I tried to stop him from knowing these things that hurt his beliefs in his parents. When he was younger I would get the only sleep I could for the night after work, when his mom would have me watch him without her help, standing up or sitting down, crying or not crying, I had to make sure he was okay, and I had to make sure I got at least 2 hours of sleep. That persisted for 6 years as my predominate sleeping. But I've never had a real sleep schedule, and remember, I've always woken up when alerted to something by trying to kill people. I had to live in fear in that sleep that I'd react to something. controlling your reactions, while unconscious, isn't something I expect normal people to be able to explain. But I had to learn it, I have to take care of my kid. I did, and continue to do so. But to me, if it was only me, I'd live under a bridge and get free food from dumpsters. Maybe even be super cool and go every day and collect the change spilled out of cars between the drive through of multiple businesses. 

People my whole life told me "you don't wanna be..." but honestly, I don't wanna not be like them. Trash dudes get paid plenty and occasionally get to keep cool shit people threw away. Which is how I first started testing frequencies with a satellite. People throw out one, means I get something. All dishes are is a fancy antenna intended to increase distance without increasing power requirements. But now days everything is encrypted as far as tv goes. bullocks. Luckily, the encryption mechanism is pretty easy to simulate with a computer <3. 

If this post seems incoherent or a wild mesh of random shit, this is how i think. always. 

ppp brute forcing is easier than you think, you don't need a phone line more often than not these days, just find the vpbx.

When passively sniffing the network, I found the local police drive by my house twice a day, every day, at specific times, which I can recognize because his phone sends out a probe for a specific essid. every day. It's labeled with the police district's common abbreviation. 

it's midnight. i'm unsure if I want to try to kill myself, or drink, or sleep, or do another htb challenge and fail to get root because stupid gawd damned service keeps killing my session before I can migrate it. >:(

have a good night everyone.

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